Thanks Dad

There are many nuggets of wisdom that I received from my Father, most of which I probably can't recall explicitly, but are rather part of my subconscious. But there are three "big ones" that I do remember:

The first happened when I was about nine years old. I was riding with my dad in our family pick-up truck, it was just the two of us (I think we were on our way home from the hardware store or some such). At the time, I was being bullied by a number of kids in the neighborhood and I was having some doubts about my "toughness". So I asked him this "leading" question: "Dad, what does it mean to be a man? Do you have to be tough and smoke cigars (not sure why I threw that in there...) and get in fights and stuff?". I fully expected him to answer me "No, no, those aren't what makes a man. What matters is that you try your best every day." Or something like that. But, instead he said "If you want to know what it means to be a man, look at Jesus Christ." This "threw me for a loop". We were church-going folk, and my Dad wasn't going to tolerate any blasphemy around the house, but he didn't tend to bring up religious themes all that often. I remember really thinking about this - sort of getting absorbed in my thoughts (I'm sure my eyebrows were furrowed on my forehead - he must have been struggling not to smile). But that statement had a profound impact on me (I'm blogging about it now, aren't I?).

The second one came many years later on a Saturday afternoon at home. Dad and I were watching the football game on TV. He had just gotten our first TV with a "remote" and was getting a big kick out of being able to mute the sound on the commercials. We were talking about TV a lot, TV this, TV that... Then he was quiet for a little bit like he didn't like that. He shut the TV off and said "That thing is a wasteland" in reference to the TV. We got up and went outside. I remember it.

This third one was on the way to pick up our tuxedos for my wedding. We had rented this white Lincoln Towncar to ride in after the church service and we were taking it out for a test drive. It was just he and I in the car. This time, I was driving. We talked about marriage. He volunteered: "You know, there were times when your mom would drive me just nuts, but I have to say I'm thankful for it now, because it was the things she did that drove me nuts that kept me from making you kids nuts." Sounds funny when I write it like this, but the point was well taken.

Thanks Dad.